a formal introduction
“fair reader i offer merely an analogy”
-anne carson, beauty of the husband
i would not be lying if i were to start this blog by saying that i had another one a while back. that other project failed at some point because i got too creative mixing reality and fantasy, to the point when now, reading it years after the fact, i have difficulty deconvoluting the two in all the entries.
what is it to live but to perform-either before or after-the fantasy? in one extreme, if one’s life is not going well, we fantasize about the performance. in the other end, we can perform fantasies if life allows us to, which doesn’t happen very often. and when no one is looking, when we think we are alone, we just are, and fantasy and performance become the same, two individual words that are no longer capable of describing, or merely naming, anything.
there is no use to escape the fantasy. the fantasy is a crystallized reality, one that satisfies our expectations. hence “the fantasy” is the birthmark that we all share-we all know what life would be like if we could always have our way. the trademark is then the shape of the fantasy; it’s colors and contents that are a reflection of our penchants.
i digress, and such is the nature of my character. my point is: to live is to fantasize, but one needs control. that is the intention of this new blog: to intelligently summarize and criticize my life, with minimal contribution from the fantasies that consistently plague my brain. anything from poetry to men to cocktails to shirts and jackets will be here. my life, as ridiculous, superficial and profound will be the subject.
as for the fantasy, i still have the rest of the day to concoct elaborate scenarios were i meet men in the library, i have coffee with joan didion and anne carson, and jcrew decides to make me head of their men’s design team-never mind that i don’t know anything about design. i failed to mention that this all happens in one day.
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